Dog Poet Transmitting.......
May your noses always be cold and wet.
Summer has bypassed us this year. Despite occasional days with a cooler sun there is mostly rain and a gray cloud cover. It's the second day out of the rehab and I am sorting my things. I knew where everything was before I left but now it's all a jumble, some of it in garbage bags and some of it in locations I have yet to discover. It's a grim task to put it all in boxes and make it suitable for shipping somewhere. As it stands, half of it won't be going anywhere because it's either too big to pack, too expensive to ship vis a vis the value of the item, or it falls into a third category that is composed of many categories too numerous to catalogue.
I took a room in a pension about 7 K away, with the understanding that I would have internet but... despite bringing the router down into my room and having someone drive in who was as stymied as I at the end, there is no internet. See... there's a code you have to put into the dialogue box to get the server to recognize you and give you an authorized pass but the dialogue box won't come up and it then says 'connected' but there is no connection. As it so happens I have a Telecom stick which makes what I am doing here, this minute, possible but which is pricey and comes with a quite restricted bandwidth but... as I am limping already from the aftermath of my accident, it seems only fitting that I should limp in other ways as well (grin).
During the time I was in Rehab I scoured the net for apartments in 3 different locations where there are, in fact, numerous apartments and I reached out to the various agents who handle these rentals and with a single exception, no one got back to me. The one exception has also now disappeared through some bolthole in cyberspace. I take all this to mean that I am not meant to stay here any longer because it defies both logic and reason that I would meet with such difficulty across the board.
Now it turns out that there are places available but they are all right in the neighborhood of where I originally embarked from when I started this misadventure and the irony here is that that location is the least likely place around to have so many vacancies and not only that but... it is the more expensive of locations and the present options there are not. This makes no kind of sense whatsoever. Welcome to my life of the moment, here in the unpredictable and fickle atmosphere of this zeitpunkte.
I had thought I would finally get this language down and win myself permanent residency at the same time. I found schools in all of the locations that I was considering going to but no rentals appeared so... I spent the weeks sitting nearby people chattering away at each other and understood hardly a thing. After all this time; understanding so little. I see where I could learn to speak it. I just wouldn't understand the replies (grin). This left me with the impression that, possibly, I should seek some new environ where people might not understand what I am saying and where I might not relate to what they are telling me but where... the words, at least, would have some relative meaning in a relative world, now teetering on the brink of widespread chaos.
As I contemplated my situation last night, I scanned the news and it was ominous to say the least. It's been bad for awhile but it's modulated into a higher frequency of tone. It's a bit more shrill and on the runway to shrieking. Through my mind came the rumbling query; “where do you go sport (don't call me sport)? Where do you go?
In the midst of this perpetuating uncertainty, a few days prior to my leaving the Rehab, I received an offer of residence in an attractive part of the motherland. It's surrounded by national forests and actually in the woods. It's affordable and not far from old associations of years past. It's not the warmest of what's available in the country but it's not the coldest either. I've had many options come at me across time as I rotated in my office chair, circling in expatriot limbo. This one came in the midst of an ongoing inner dialogue of, “Hmmm, where do I go? Where do I go?” I thought it might be a message but... then again... I haven't been all that good at reading the real implications of the choices that have come before me in recent times.
There is a crushing weight of depression circling about my head, as I try to get my various bits in order. It's almost like something being pumped out of a hose through a roof tile. It makes my movements leaden. The simple act of deciding what to keep and what to take or send, leaves me feeling like Hobson and his options for choice which, of course, was no option for choice at all. It just looks like there is but unique to this circumstance, even the unavoidable option is veiled.
I'm not writing this today to depress the reader. My particular misery does not love company. I'm just following along with my full disclosure thing. That is a sort of personal imperative for me; not to gloss over conditions or paint things other than what they are in the hope that they will be.
As it stands, I can pack up what it's possible to send off and address it to that location where it might be my intent to arrive and then simply walk the course between unfinished realities here; places I might yet have to be before I can go, based on promises made to be available up until a certain date. This concerns the possibility that I might be needed to sign something. That would account for the pursuit of temporary lodging and the truly odd phenomena of it putting me right back in the area I originally left.
I think part of the depression is due to seeing the amount of work I put into this place and the wonderment at the meaning of, which completely escapes me. Then there are those ludicrous things like do I take these blank CDs and couple reams of paper when they will cost as much to ship as replace? Is all of this memorabilia (probably not as much as most people have) worth remembering, or even necessary to the process? Are all these framed pictures of deities and teachers necessary? Muslims and others would say otherwise and you can always get more pictures. So... in the process of the sorting, the charged magnetism of each item sings its song for me, with varying levels of influence.
BUT... dangling over all of this, like that spectre from “The Frighteners” is the tempestuous threat of a world in great transformation. Will it be more or less this same world in a month? Surely it will not be by this time next year. BUT... you can shit and go blind attempting to second guess it cause you won't get it right. At least I haven't so far. It is at the very least, perplexing to the point of madness.
So... I will finish up here and I will got back to sorting my things and then, I suppose, I will be back here to post and read your responses later in the day, unless the Elf steps in.
We've all heard so many variations concerning what it is our province to perform and what we must, or should, leave in wiser hands. We've heard about being utterly reliant. I suspect under certain circumstances that will just leave you frozen in space. Sometimes you must proceed in faith and certitude that even if there is no positive result there will certainly be a lasting lesson (grin- ouch).
The more and more that I think about it as I am writing this today, it more and more comes into my head that the reason there is so much uncertainty and inexplicable blockage is because what is supposed to happen just hasn't happened yet and sometimes you have no choice but to tread water in a tossing sea. It is to be supposed that at some point, the outline of land will appear between one bobbing wave and another.
Life is a series of tests and the more serious the tests, the more time and variables can come into play. Sometimes, with a particular test you can literally go no further until you have passed that test. It just rounds the corner again and again until you do. Possibly the good news with that is that you cannot fail either. Failure isn't permitted. You just have to catch it right and eventually you do, or so it is presumed.
I've never been in a situation quite like this one before. In the past, the lines were pretty clear cut or I just made the decision and that was that. There's something else at work here and I don't know what that is. Whatever it is it is relentless and inflexible and factored into all of that (whatever 'that' is) is the state of the world and it's moment to moment uproar upon uproar and insanity upon insanity. You pretty much have to laugh. It's less likely to obstruct your vision than is the alternative and it does leave you with the potential benefit of having a lighter touch; “sorting it out here, Boss.”
End Transmission.......
Spiritual Survival in a Temporal World
- 'An Exploration Toward the Ineffable'
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39 comments:
We all have to clean house sometimes Les. I've ditched stuff which I thought was essential to my being...only to find out that a day or so later it was though it never existed...travel light is my motto these days. Good luck in your endeavors.
Ditto to Wiggins. He's right Les. You know, the more "things" you shed the more your forced to rely on the Ineffable. Which is after all the best destination.
I have thought of you often Vis- I know it is a trying time for you... somehow I can feel this too, the waiting on the world to change is getting old. I think we all know that the paying of the piper will cause us all to shudder. Hold on buddy- its coming like a freight train and nothing will stop the equalization of all.-much love to you-Jen
well, well Vis. How strange. You are certainly not alone in what you are experiencing. This place is winding down - or should i say closing down. As a retired expat i recieved an offical notice from immigration just the other day stating that any person that is just one day over on their visa will be deported and be denied re-entry for 5 years. This is extreme and everyone seems to think just the tip of the iceberg.
Also, a very good and informed source told me that they will be looking at removing expats property rights and all sorts of other stuff that will return this place back to what it was 100 years ago withing 18 months.
Foreigners with expat status are no longer to be welcome here. all things considered I shall be shipping out within a matter of months
----------------
The local government recently resurfaced the road in my village but left the boundry areas in a right mess. So I had some local builder that was doing a general repair - for those that cared to have a finished job - repair outside my house for just over $100. (this would cost $1000 min in Europe) My next door neighbour - who runs one of the biggest foreign charitys in Thailand - is currently overseas so i emailed him and advised that whilst the local builder was picking up the pieces he may wish to consider having his ouside area repaired. He agreed. His house is twice the ouside area of mine so the cost was $150 - a bargain. Anyhow i supervised the work and and excellent job was done.
This was several weeks ago. I emailed him on numerous occasions to ask how he would like to repay me - considering that i paid up front on his behalf. He has blanked me up untlll this very day although i know he has recieved and read my emails as i recieve notice when emails are read.
I have had quite a few negative dealings with this guy in the past - but could not but help simply doing what i though was right.
I always supected people that run charitys and now for a mear $150 i have been proven to be correct. yet again!
Rant over!
My heart goes out too you Vis.
i have been in very similar circumstances and each time I cut back and back and back (ha) it was indeed as if the stuff I let go of never existed. And still, more stuff takes the old things' place upon arrival at the new place.
Someone wiser than I once said "At times the only available transportation is a leap of faith"
Much love,
Carmen
travel light travel right
i was not surprised to see others with same philosophy as i read through the comments.
if you have to wonder about some THING? toss it! and if you are wrong and you eventually 'need' it -- well then that's another adventure that you are supposed to have. how you get it or what you get instead. you need the void to have options.
i had an intuition when i read the passage where you seemed to be referring to the message you had received from the Ineffable (and i could be wrong) that something wonderful was coming to you at some point and i totally paraphrase --- but i seemed to intuit that this glad tidings message was screwing you up on various occasions because it HAD NOT HAPPENED AS YOU INTERPRETED IT SHOULD....well.....that might be making you react to a reality you have perceived as coming as opposed to the reality that is currently here -- and is throwing you off your game. maybe this is what the Ineffable meant OR not ---- i'm trying to say it is happening but you may still be too earth-bound and the evidence of that is the quandary over your possessions -- lighten up!
we are stardust and we've got to get back to the garden....
If I get any lighter I'll float away. I probably should have included the addendum that none of this makes any difference to me. It's just something I'm going through same as all the other things. My purpose in noting these things, which are just phases is to illustrate a condition and engender feedback. It's not that the comments are always right, useful or wrong. It's that they embrace a wide field of perspective.
Apropos of my having written this, I went in and went back to work and had a very easy time of it, as I expected I would. One more half day and I'm done with that end. Consonant with that, an option presented itself which I did not expect and which made the whole thing much more fluid and grants me more time in terms of the deeper cleaning out.
I should add that there are things going on in the back ground that heavily influence all of this and which I don't want to talk about. That seems unfair, I know, but mention of these things is going to have to wait upon the conclusion of how they play out.
One thing I have noticed since I've gone back into that location is what a negative atmosphere it has and I was completely unaware of this previously but now I can feel it. It gives me shivers yet... I was put there for a reason just as I will in the next zone.
As for good things promised, honestly, that doesn't cross my mind. I've zero expectation because even having anything like that in my head is a no no. These things promised may not even have to do with here and I am aware of that. My head is on empty just about all the time. My heart is a different matter. Good points though.
I have to say that i have been following your chaos in motion since your accident and i find it all rather spooky because my life circumstance's are very much a mirror of your own, less the broken hip. i have spent a little over 2 years fixing up a very old house for the landlord here building everything from a green house,good garden, chickens, and pretty much off the grid, only to find that i have 60 days to vacate as he says he has sold his place and is moving in. that is an oh sheet moment so asking universe "what to do,what to do?" has become my daily mantra. Well so far no answer but i keep trying.I also am aware that i am not in the best frame of mind trying to sort it all out The whole dam thing makes no sense to me? but here i am in the middle of it... Half joking i said to a friend the other day who was exasperated about the state of the world and the collective insanity expressing its self upon everyone and everything. i replied that it collapse will really get going as soon as i find myself out the door homeless with my pants around my ankles in the middle of the road. that should be Oct 1st. good luck to you vis! we both need it and i suspect many more too
Those who can I would suggest please send LV funds in a time of need. I think there is a paypal box on his site. Thank you.
Les,
first off: Pack ALL your clothes.
A mistake I made in similar circumstances was taking stuff I never used again and not taking clothes, shoes, coats etc that I really needed later.
The rest - all of it - including memorabilia, is just dead weight... on the body & soul
- Frankie
This is why I keep this personal stuff occurring along the way because I KNOW via the resonance that it is happening far and wide. There is a similarity in the constructs of our deconstruction (grin) that is amazing for its timeliness and synchronicity. I hear a lot more about this through the emails and have been hearing so its a fait accompli, with me, at this point.
I don't know that money is going to solve my situation. I appreciate the kind prod on the part of whoever but... it feels like it's something more and I am being kept from jumping in the direction I am being prodded because something is going to happen very soon and it is going to change everything.
Meanwhile, as you can see with insiam, there are heavy forces at work behind the scenes. Unfortunately, ,the people they are getting angry with are not the real problem. Hopefully, one of these days, a concerted putsch gets started in that direction.
A reader just chimed in on another medium and reminded me of one of the watchwords of my being; "everything is under control"
I'll tell you what the real disturbance for me is, besides the long and extended treading of water. It cuts into my ability to do what I do, given that my focus is taken up by all sorts of things that weren't there 3 and a half months ago.
Hard as it may be to believe, I am aware of the set nature of the course and the narrow parameters of my movement over it. This is why I am almost never distressed because whatever it is, once you have done whatever you can, it's out of your hands.
Hi, Vis. Having been in the same situation fairly recently, I can feel for you. Sending 'backup'... (grin)
Folks of our nature probably suffer more through moves, simply because we are more awake and therefore know of more 'options'. If we were just hunkered down, it would be relatively easy. Having to have an ear-open for Ineffable 'choices' is harder in the short run, in terms of making and carrying through decisions.
I am in a similar position in another way. In conversations with Higher Self, it has been made plain that I not only have completed all that I came to do this lifetime, but that I have finished up all the various 'cells' that need experience for soul purposes. I am 'good to go'.
This is fantastic, but I am left with 'what next' and 'when'? Currently, it is like treading water, and it is eventually similar in feeling to Chinese water torture. Partially, it is indeed 'anticipation', which has to be let go. However, a fair part of it is having 'seen' additional available states and locations, and knowing those are a better 'fit'. Grrr.
For what it's worth, Higher Self indicates that the 'Turning' is getting close. Of course, Otherside time references are always iffy. (ironic grin)
Remember, if you choose, to include positive feelings/emotions being experienced at the place you 'are' (the future place), if you do any place-manifesting meditations...
Best Wishes,
Ray B.
Les, here's what I think might be happening:
What you're going thru - injured, alone & possibly without a place to stay - is a precursor of what many, many others will soon be experiencing.
The answers you come up with to get thru your ordeal will stand you in good stead as a guide others when their turn inevitably comes... by which time you'll be looking on from the "other side of the valley"
- Frankie
Hello Vis,
The net result of the India sojourn was that you returned to the old area. Perhaps the ineffable is telling you something in regard to the loft sojourn.
You got wolloped in a spiritual sense in India and then wolloped physically at the loft. The ineffable wants you where s/he wants you to be.
Mandocello
-
well, after paying a $100 a month, for three years to store my 'stuff',
i realized i need almost none of it and am still kicking myself for being so foolish
i used to be able to carry 'what i owned'
in a backpack, with hands free for a guitar
then i bought a car
and more 'things'
to fill it with
then i lived in a house
and filled that up, too
now i am giving all of it away, or trashing it
i need very little, in that way, now
i feel lighter, myself, every day
and have absolutely no regrets
may you all find the peace, within your own hearts
-
Hi Vis,
Same treading of water here .... relocation seems imminent, with options very slowly developing, but seemingly stagnant for now.
In the mean time the "story of me" seems to evaporate ... rider and horse are turning into a centaur-like being? ;) Fascinating indeed!
To the Neil that posted, if we met "in the flesh" in NM about two years ago, please get in touch ...
OneLove
Well then... maybe the ineffable would be so kind as to let me know where that is and I'll head right over (grin).
Getting empty. Sometimes it takes a primal scream Sometimes only desperation is fertile. I'm not afraid to go there anymore. False security is worse than desperation. God, I know how to be desperate and, if necessary, can be a master at hiding it. Then there's that love thing. No matter what, it's always tuggin' at us, kinda saying, "You can't stay down there too long. We've much to experience and enjoy." "Oh, just a little longer?," I beg. "Sometimes I like it down here; it helps me understand why creator provided tear-ducts." And it comes, the purge, all the way to empty. When you got nothin' you got everything to find. Shadows are only there if the light is blocked. Sometimes terrifying, sometimes achingly beautiful. Empty, empty, empty. Desperate, desperate, desperate. The crucifixion wasn't skipped over. Nor the entombment. None of it surrendered faith. The depths have so much to teach. Hard to trust anyone who won't visit there. Kinda like a sandwich with no bread, a bedroom with no bed, a lover you can't touch. So when an honest someone trusts me enough with the truth of desperation or profound uncertainty, I recognize in such a one, something intrinsically and universally authentic. It's that person that I can now invite to tea. Only the brave go down there consciously; the rest see it as victimhood rather than evolution. That's a different kind of empty. I wonder if anyone feels like tea?
----
i once got into a dispute on the soccer field ... another player thought that kicking my legs wasn't a foul because it wasn't intentional
an agitated bee was flying around his head ... i took out a sword to get the bee, and as expected, a clean split in two ... unfortunately, in the same swing, i also took the poor chap's head off ... but it wasn't intentional
Just keep everything in it's proper perspective.
Years ago I read something that has stayed with me since then and it always seems to help.
When we get into times of indecision and problems seem to lurk at every fork in the road...remember...these aren't really problems...they're mere inconveniences. Remember that well my friend.
When missiles swoop in to your wedding ceremony and kill your family and then swoop in to kill the rescuers...THAT'S A PROBLEM!
Perspective. What often seems big, in perspective, is actually quite small. Hang tough.
Not sure where to reply to Eric so just a brief reply, I do not think we met in new mexico , i was not there (at least this part of me) and ditto to what visible said "Well then... maybe the ineffable would be so kind as to let me know where that is and I'll head right over " personally i am tired of being stripped down or de-constructed as visible also stated , funny thing it is one week till my 60th birthday then the whole birth cycle starts all over again for the 3rd time, i just know that Oct is going to be a radical month in my life, to what end i have no idea, My first few months one planet earth were spent in a nursery till my adopted parents picked me up on oct 24th. My late mother always celebrated that time as my second birthday , it was important to her as that was when her journey with me began..
My mother used to say: "Possessions are well named; they do indeed come to possess you!"
As for the weight of current events, I've been feeling the same all summer. Jobs I had planned to finish during warm weather I cannot find the initiative or energy to start, much less complete.
An older American friend told me that 6 months or more prior to the American entry into WWII, the propaganda was ramped up, and there was a feeling of inevitability, despite the fact that most Americans still had no appetite for war. That quickly changed after Roosevelt permitted Pearl Harbor...
John
Quite a while ago you posted on Origami the worthiness of inspired leaps.
I've seen what happens when one doesn't take them, long drawn out apathy, which is just another kind of depression and oh so cleverly masks an almost always unrecognized fear of the unknown, is the utterly avoidable result.
Aside from taking leaps keeping us busy with exactly the kind of material balancing act you are experiencing, at stake is the inevitable, coming constantly in contact with new people and new flavors of experience: possibilities, living, loving, seeing, being.
Just take the leap Visible, this "in between comfort zones" era is almost over and soon enough your leap will bring positive change as long as you leave goodwill behind and create good will while you leap and wherever you land. Good people everywhere always recognize other good people. Don't delay in the material traps. They most definitely are traps and designed to hold you back and smother your joy.
The way to exit the trap is to see it for what it is. Then you can get down to business, ruthlessly, and move on outta there.
Love, nina
not before breakfast:
take a look at the images. all dressed up trying to appear human ..... (not ot imagine the true morning look of these creatures)
http://news.yahoo.com/obama-bush-1st-ladies-press-girls-education-155738931--politics.html
via Homer..
Epic Origami!
44 years I've kept hold of the same picture of my Boss ... I love that picture.
It's not big, it's just the biggest.
The Boss
In my eyes the Visible sparkles. I read and am enhanced by every drop of Sophia dripping through the keyboard into the Internet from The Heart. Thank you my friend. I am sure you and I are brothers in this microcosm. One day we"ll meet. If you can give us an update on the extent of your injuries I[for one] promise to make a deposit of health into the meta bank of healing. Ollisgood Goodisoll
I don't know the English language as well as you've proven your skills with said language, so I'm just musing about why you say you have difficulty with learning German, which I'm pretty sure you're more than slightly intimating. I'm not making fun in the slightest, just wondering how different minds operate. The German saying "Übung lässt keine Moose ansetzen/practice doesn't let moss set up" comes to mind. My one grandmother spoke German but not often at all, and the other, fraternal grandmother was Pennsylvania "Dutch"/Deutsch, so I think it might be a genetic thing...perhaps. Just keep practicing. Its yoda-esque syntax going from full-blown sentence to the next full-blown sentence is hard to follow at first, given what happens there with subordinate clauses, but give it some time and it can be learned. That being said, I don't know German like the back of my hand and never will, just like English, so I just keep on keeping on. On a societal note that's empirical with my experiences with what I'm about to utter, it's oddly true about feedback in German on social media sites vrs. the "cricket noises" I typically generate from the vast majority of Americans, given the context and content of what I prefer to talk about being the same issues but penned/typed in both of said languages. So, I've made a lot of German-speaking pen pals while losing plenty of Americans that can't stomach hearing what I have to say out of conscience. Tell-ing to me about America's "conscientiousness"; I'm trying to be conscientious. At least with German, what you see is what you get for the most part, because its spelling and pronunciation are much more uniform than french-influenced English. I'm not knocking French too hard, but it was penned "back in the day" by an illiterate Charlemagne, and it shows...to me...in comparison with German orthography and pronunciation.
-
tous et bien fou,
mon pot
francais c'est la langue
de l'amour
alemange et le langue
de mechanician
et le duex jamais
fait le meme route
-
forgive 'my' french
i know it sucks
A new Smoking Mirrors is up now-
They Came... and Then... They Were Gone.
I don't know if you considered my offer, I felt stupid after sending you the message. I am in extreme northern Michigan, in the woods, on a lake, big house and poor internet. I am able to maintain my blog thatrandomcandidate.com. (Between midnight and 7 am I have great bandwidth.) I ran for Congress and was endorsed by Ron Paul...found out the conspiracy theories I studied decades ago are much improved. 906-291-1376. I am praying for you. (Oh, yeah, I'm a Christian. I hear my chosen leader in your words.)
Linda Goldthorpe
Thanks for that picture Homer.
Vis,
Maybe the ineffable wants you back in the same old area you left. Not the same town but perhaps the same area.
Mandocello
It is the. same general area
Hey Les,
I understand the difficulty of letting go of some things. Yeah, it is supposedly 'spiritual' to need no things & that is most likely correct, but, we are human, you know. If we were living in the angelic realm, perhaps we would not have these difficulties. But, we are human and seem to want just a few physical things that give us comfort. No harm, just expensive.
I just listened to an old (12/23/2011) interview that you did with Robert Phoenix. Beautiful. M.
Les, I just saw that a woman in Northern Michigan offered her home to you. This is funny to me: I also live in the Upper Peninsula of Northern Michigan, on a lake, have a huge home, great
internet & was considering making the same offer to you...living here, at least for awhile. I have a very strange husband who most likely would say OK. Point being, perhaps Michigan is calling with two potential offers of hospitality & comfort. What do you think? I will check back for any response. I have to tell you, up front, that I am not an easy person with which to live & protect my privacy...just ask my husband. Small smile. And, if the other woman who offered her home to you from Northern Michigan chooses to contact me, perhaps we can make contact & ship Les back & forth! Lot's of smiles. Love you, Les. M
Thank you all. i have found a location where I will go for the next 6 months. After that I will assess again. A few days ago I was asked internally,"where would you like to go?" I replied with the name of a certain island chain (not Hawaii). It is fairly obscure and... what do you know, a dew days later someone shows up here and offers me a house in a virtual wonderland and I have agreed to go with him next month.
My hesitation about where to go had nothing to do with all the options I have. It had to do with the state of the world and the distinct feeling that in the next few months tremendous changes could very well take place and that could impact heavily on any situation I put myself in. This place is a world unto itself and a place most people have never even heard of.
Les,
So pleased that you have found such a lovely place to soon call your new home. M.
I am from Michigan, too. More fresh water than anywhere else in the world. Up until 30 yrs ago, or so, probably the most prosperous province on the planet. It is a great place for artists.
The Chippewa Indians believed Michigan was the home of the wind and water demons. Supposedly, Elvis was spotted in Kalamazoo. Hemingway wrote "Big Two Hearted River" here in Michigan and it was probably his greatest work. I love it here. Perfect blend of rednecks and sophisticates. Lots of great guitar players...well, lots of guitar players, anyway.
McCob
cardest, Je parle un petit mots des francais de temps a temps. Mais, mon francais sux aussi.
McCob
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